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[Wednesday March 21st, 2007 1:34pm] [ mood | drained ] havent updated in foreverrr.  life pretty much sucks. where to begin. im learning just now that people change all the time. you cant really trust anyone because the one person you think you can trust will always let you down. a lot of changes with begin in a few months im going to be graduating which very scary. i cant believe this is it and then im really going have to grow up and doing everything for myself. very scary. i really want to move out of my house cant really stand staying here always fighting with my parents its soooo annoyingg. boy sitaution well mine and brians relationship i guess you can call it changes everydayyy. he seriously has something wrong with him and he thinks he doesnt. i think he doesnt think he has a problem bc he can get the drugs so he thinks hes okay but in reality the drugs are affecting him and me. and i cant do it anymore but i love him but whatever. as of right now were done again but idk well see what happens. i hope things work out idk. prom! soooo many problems so today is march 21 prom is exactly three months away and we still dont have a limo! :) well we have one just not booked yet were gunna do that soon. we have no idea what were doing after, i was going to get us  a house but this fucking lady never wrote back so idk :( and i need a date bc i cant wait around to see whats going on with me and brian idk :/ my life seriously sucksss to the max. work two jobs good old kids quest and fucking lowes. its really easy at lowes i just hate working late but whatever im gunna make a lot of money.  READ (1) REPLY?

[Saturday August 5th, 2006 4:01pm] [ mood | heartbroken ] so my life has been extremely hard lately. this whole week i was doing fine with him not wanting to be with me and everything and us breaking up and us being friends but it was hard but thats what i had to do if still wanted him to talk to me. but i should of just been like fuck you in the beginning bc now im stuck here all by myself and im not going to prom now bc his mom wont let him go with a pyscho bc im the one thats pyshco right im the one that yelled and screamed and push and shoved the past year. im the one that crusses at him all the time im the one that calls him fat or ugly right im the crazy one. yep thats me im the one that cheated on him im the one that hangs out with boys right im the one that breaks his heart all the time. thats totally me and im the pyscho. ive waiting for prom for so long and now im not even gunna go bc i dont have anyone to go with. and his mom promised me that no matter what he would go with me. and the only reason hes not aloud to go with me bc he fucking tells her this crazy shit about me and it really makes me sound like a psycho when im not. and its not fair. im sorry that i stick up for myself now bc i learned that i cant always have him talk down on me and make me feel liek shit im not gunna let him do that to me anymore.. i cant. and now its like we hate eachother and that really hurts bc a month ago we were so in love and now its like i hardly ever knew him bc hes turned into this monster and i dont even know him anymore and that hurts. and the love i have for him is gone its all hate now bc he wants me to hate him and now i do and im still upset bc i dont want to hate him but he leaves me no choice to but whatever im gunna go back to crying on my bed with his stuff animal and wait for my best friend to come home READ (0) REPLY?

[Tuesday July 25th, 2006 6:32pm] [ mood | crushed ] so i havent updated bc i was wishing that everything would get better but nope everything is getting worse and i dont know what to do. i know what i should do but i cant i dont want to i love my bf more than anything and i really wish he felt the same. all that i ever seem to be doing anymore is crying and crying and thats not healthy but i dont know what else to do bc i love him soo much like i dont think anyone undestands how much i love him. i worked sooo hard to be where we are today bc i dont know i guess thats not good enough anymore i guess im not good enough anymore i think this is my fault that everything is falling apart maybe all those nights when i was exhausted and everything i should of stayed up with him inestead of being selfish and wanting to go to sleep maybe thinsg would be a lot better i dont know all i know is that im in love i really am I HAVE NEVER EVER FELT THIS WAY about any boy before and i never will....wtf why not tell you all exactly wahts going he doesnt want to be with me longer there i said it he doesnt want to he wants to leave me after prom and i have to let him and the thing that kills me is that its not like were gunna take a break he doesnt want me journal he doesnt and thats what hurts the most I LOVE HIM but nope too bad bc nothing works out for me ever and now im here left alone in my room crying for the 2164555454548 day but i thnk im getting use to it ps this didnt help at all READ (4) REPLY?

[Friday January 13th, 2006 8:17pm] READ (0) REPLY?

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